Alphabet Soup - Decoding the Acronyms and Labels of Sex and Sexuality

Labels are everywhere, and people are no exception. We label ourselves, our communities, and our sexual preferences. The challenge is to decode these labels, to tie down what is, isn't, could, and should be included in these labels. This is what this column will aim to do. Each month we'll look at another label, trying to nail down what it means, and how identifying with it can change perceptions.

I realize that there is a danger to this article. One man's opinion on a label should not be seen as the last word on it. I know that there are some who would argue that no one should be encouraging labels. To them I say good luck achieving a world without labels. While labels can be hurtful, they also empower us to find and build communities of similar people. They help us define the things we are doing, or explain the things we are looking to do.

My labels are many. In deciding to start this column I had to examine what my labels are, at least the ones I choose to identify with. In the end I decided on the following; Kink Adjacent, Gay, Versatile Bottom, Bearish, Monogamist. I realize for some these labels seem pointless, but when cruising for a potential romantic partner, they become vital. Monogamist tells those with a Poly inclination that I most likely a bad romantic fit. Gay lets the ladies know that as flattered as I can be with a good flirt, I'm looking for a man.

Then there is the acronyms, LGBT(PQQIPT?), BDSM, M/s, and others. Often we have to guess at what the letter stands for, and then guess at what that means. And one person's VS is another person's OB, leading to even more confusion. Sometimes personal ads and dating sites seem like they need a CIA encryptionist to decode.

In the end however I want this column to become a dialogue. I want to hear what labels you identify with, struggle to define, or are just curious about. Let's look at them together, and see if maybe we can't make these labels and acronyms a whole lot cleaner.

Email me any questions, suggestions, or comments to cyberocelot@kink-e-zine.com.