My Kink Is Okay . . .

. . . Yours Is Fascinating

Is there anyone who's been a member of the kinky scene for more than, oh, forty-three minutes who hasn't had an "ew, no way never" (or, maybe more likely, an "okay, fine if you're into that but I just don't get it") activity suddenly become . . . intriguing? And maybe even a new favorite? One of the wonderful things about the human brain (and perhaps especially the kinky brain!) is that our tastes and tolerances are always shifting and evolving. Yesterday's "no, thank you" could be tomorrow's, "more please!"

For example, while I was never one of those people who is completely squicked out by needles, I had mentally filed needleplay on my, "I just don't really get it" list for quite some time. I still wouldn't put it on the top of my "must haves" list, but I've certainly come to appreciate some nice décor and a boatload of endorphins. Similarly, watersports were for a long time on my "kind of ew, no thanks" list. Now, every so often, I can enjoy a moderate humiliation scene with someone I care about and trust. In the shower.

For the coming series of columns, I'm going to specifically identify things that I don't think I'm interested in, or that I really don't "get," and educate myself—and hopefully some of the Kink-e-Zine readership along with me. I doubt I'll gain a new fetish a month, (that could get expensive and time-consuming, if nothing else) but I hope to learn more about myself, and about our community. Even if I come away from a class or event feeling that, nope, this really isn't for me, the point is not to mock or diminish others' experiences. Rather, it's to more fully understand why some things have the power they do over our erotic imaginations. So if, say, I attend a puppy play class in the course of this project, I may discover a heretofore unknown predilection. More likely, I'll get a better understanding of why this is a powerful expression of self or lifestyle for my friends and others and, hopefully, be able to convey that to zine readers who may also be wondering what life is like on the other side of the collar.

What fetishes, activities, and forms of play are difficult for you to understand? What would you like to see me investigate? What makes you say, "Oh. My. God. Why does anyone like doing that?". I have a short list for myself, but I'd love to get feedback from the community. Similarly, if you feel like something that's deeply meaningful to you isn't well understood, let me know and if there's a local class I could attend to better understand it, all the better. Let me know at anathemateatime@kink-e-zine.com.