The Newbie Corner

Where to Begin?

When you think of BDSM, do you have a million questions? Do you get turned on? Does your imagination start to go wild? If you answer yes to any of these questions, then you are likely ready to explore a bit more of what BDSM is. So, where to begin?

As a new person in the scene, otherwise known as a "newbie," you will often be approached by multiple people with different agendas. Some of them are genuinely good people who want to welcome you into their scene, help you get acquainted with things, and show you the ropes, so to speak. Others . . . not so much. Instead of falling prey to the latter group of people, you can find out where to go on your own and decide how to deal with them later. The BDSM, kink, LGBTQ leather community is one of the best, if not the best, communities to enter, since there are multiple resources to assist with everything you are looking for.

In San Francisco, these resources are especially prevalent. For general knowledge about being sex positive and finding your community, you can attend classes and discussions at San Francisco's Center for Sex and Culture.

Once you have an idea of what you're interested in —or a desire to explore a whole lot of things—you can start attending classes at local venues such as the SF Citadel. They offer instruction in everything from basic bondage to animal play to piercing.

To meet fellow kinky (and curious) people and get information in a less structured environment than a class, look for gatherings called "munches." A munches is a meeting of similar-minded people to discuss many things including specialty interests and fetishes, sex, relationships, spirituality, how to deal with community issues, and more. Indeed, if you can imagine it, there's probably a munch for it.

Sadly, one of the prime locations for munches focused on everything from ropes to gaming to support for submissives is no longer, now that the Wicked Grounds café has closed its doors. These munches have scattered to various locations, making them harder to locate. You can look for announcements on FetLife, but really, the best way to find a munch is to ask. Asking will get you amazing results.

Once you have attended classes, discussions, munches and gather your information and feel comfortable enough to go to the next step, you can now start to act on your BDSM interests. Future columns will talk about how to do this safely, and common pitfalls to avoid.

Once you have attended classes, discussions, munches and gather your information and feel comfortable enough to go to the next step, you can now start to act on your BDSM interests. Future columns will talk about how to do this safely, and common pitfalls to avoid. Have a question you'd like me to cover, or a suggestion for a column topic? Sent it to me at kuriouslove@kink-e-zine.com