Alphabet Soup - What's the difference between polyamorous and open relationships?

Polyamory is popular term lately, and one that evokes a strong reaction in most people. Polyamory is often used interchangeably with open relationships, and the strong reaction to the first, is often tied to the idea of the latter. Decoding the two in an ever-changing landscape of sexual roles and relationship becomes important when looking for our own relationships. So why the confusion? They are both lifestyle choices indicating a turning away from monogamy. Polyamory and open relationships are similar in that they both involve more than two people, and that is the only correlation. Once you get past that comparison, the differences emerge in a large way.

Open relationships are an expression of sexual relationships; wherein there are multiple sexual partners satellite to one core romantic relationship. There can be rules for guiding who, how, where, and such, but the open relationship generally lends itself to a liberal sexual practice. Polyamory is a term for loving relationships, often with some degree of commitment. In open relationships, there is an understanding that sexual attraction is a powerful force, and for those involved, it stands separate from a romantic commitment. At most, a sort of sexual friendship develops, although often open relationships involve partners that are just extensions of sexual attraction and or desires. Open relationships are more like friends with benefits. Polyamory involves having romantic partners, most often with a sexual component. In polyamory, you desire to fall in love with more than one person.

Open relationships are emotionally monogamous. While sexually the partners are able to attach themselves with others, romantically they are entangled with each other. Couples then seek other sexual partners, while maintaining a second life that excludes the sexual partners. Open relationships take many forms, but usually have a core relationship. Polyamory allows for multiple romantic relationships, some of which may be open. The primary focus of the polyamorus is emotional. This desire expresses itself as multiple couples, single triads, or other arrangements of romantic groupings.

The question becomes then not how many, but how you approach the many. I have known a good many people in poly and open relationships. It works for each person as long as there is clear and honest communication, and a realistic idea of the relationships being established. If you are seeking multiple loves, then find like-minded people and build the emotional relationships that are important to you. If you just want to get your freak on with every hottie that you can handle while staying true to that one love, then talk about opening that relationship. And always be safe, sane, and have fun!