
"The San Francisco Original",
Serving the Bay Area BDSM Community & Kink, Leather & Fetish News Across the USA
LGBT Talk


However, many members of Bisexual communities tend to prefer the definition: a changeable sexual and emotional attraction to people, where gender may not be a defining factor'.

It is extremely difficult to estimate the extent of Bisexuality because it depends very much on how the term is defined. For example, it could be people who identify themselves as Bisexual (in which case the estimate might be rather small), or it could be all people who have ever had an aesthetic, romantic or sexual attraction to more than one gender (in which case the estimate might be rather large).

In the 1940s, Alfred Kinsey put forward his famous scale of sexual orientation, finding that many people did not fall simply at either end of the spectrum (Heterosexual or Homosexual).
In terms of the proportion of people who are actively involved in UK bisexual communities, over two hundred people participate in the annual BiCon event - just a small proportion of the Bisexual-identified people who are involved in local and on-line communities. Fears of Biphobia may prevent some people from being 'out' about their Bisexuality.
Bisexual people are not necessarily attracted equally to both sexes. Because Bisexuality is often an ambiguous position between Homosexuality and Heterosexuality, those who identify, or are identified, as Bisexuals form a Heterogeneous group. "My primary preference is men," adds August. "I pretty much 'dabble' in my Bisexuality....sometimes I have the need, sometimes I don't."

Others view Bisexuality as more ambiguous. Some people who might be classified by others as Bisexual on the basis of their sexual behavior and /or self-identify primarily as Homosexual. Equally, otherwise Heterosexual people who engage in occasional Homosexual behavior could be considered Bisexual, but may not identify as such. For some who believe that sexuality is a distinctly defined aspect of the character, this ambiguity is problematic. On the other hand, some believe that the majority of people contain aspects of Homosexuality and Heterosexuality, but that the intensities of these can vary from person to person. Some people who engage in Bisexual behavior may be supportive of Homosexual people, but still self-identify as Heterosexual; others may consider any labels irrelevant to their positions and situations.
For example, I for one identify as Heterosexual; however I have kissed men many times, attend open play parties AND mens-only play parties and don't particularly mind certain male-male intimate/flirty contact with myself and others, and am very supportive of our LGBT community; however the desire to engage in sexual activity with another man has not been a burning desire per se...so what am I? Am I straight? Am I Bi? Am I confused? I'd love to hear your answers on that!

Pansexual, omnisexual, anthrosexual, and pomosexual (postmodern sexuality) are substitute terms that, rather than referring to both or "Bi" sex attraction, refer to all or "omni" sex attraction and are used mainly by those who wish to express acceptance of all sex possibilities, including transgender and intersex people, not just two.
Pansexuality sometimes includes an attraction for less mainstream sexual activities, such as BDSM. Some people who might otherwise identify as pansexual or omnisexual choose to self-identify as Bisexual because the term Bisexual is more widely known, and because they see it as an important term in identity politics.
Bi-permissive describes someone who does not actively seek out sexual relations with a given sex, but is open to them. Such a person may self-identify as Heterosexual or Homosexual and engage predominantly in sexual acts with individuals of the corresponding sex, and might be rated 1 or 5 on Kinsey’s scale.
Near-synonyms include heteroflexible and homoflexible. Ambisexual indicates a primarily indiscriminate attraction to either sex. A person who self-identifies as ambisexual might be attracted with equal intensity on physical, emotional, intellectual, and spiritual levels to partner(s) regardless of sex or gender presentation while upholding selectivity standards in other areas. Some might experience equally intense attractions that could be triggered by sex- or gender-specific traits in the given partner or partners. A person with this orientation might fall in the 3 category on Kinsey's scale, as would some who subscribe to the 2 or 4 rating (although some individuals in these latter categories consider themselves bi-permissive).
Bi-curious has several distinct and sometimes contradictory meanings. It is commonly found in personal ads from those who identify as Heterosexual, but are interested in Homosexual "experimentation." Such people are commonly suspected—not necessarily correctly—of being Homosexuals or Bisexuals in denial of their Homosexuality. It can also be used to describe someone as being passively Bi, Bi-permissive, or open to indirect Bisexual contact.
Says Brian Phillips of Meiguolangren Zai Taibel: An American Werewolf In Taipei, "I really don't think it's part of a 'boom in Lesbianism' in and of itself. I would say that's more of a subset of the 'Bisexual chic' phenomenon of Britney kissing Madonna kissing Christina or Girls Gone Wild videos or girls on the dance floor kissing one another...sure, as experimentation, but also to get the guys excited! Yes, there is a so-called 'Lesbian boom' in popular culture and the like, but it is part of a wider experimentation in sexuality, particularly the search for alternatives."

He goes on to say, "Certainly, experimenting with Lesbian behaviors and feelings is real and does seem to be growing, particularly among the young where same sex experimentation by women has always been fairly high (see anyone from Kinsey's original report to Masters and Johnson to Hite). However, experimentation is not Lesbianism, it's experimentation! The interesting change is that Bisexual and Lesbian experimentation are becoming more socially acceptable in media and within the youth cultures. Openly caressing and kissing on a dance floor is very different from the guilt-ridden girls experimenting behind closed doors praying they weren't 'freaks' and that they wouldn't get caught."
Trisexual (sometimes trysexual) is either an extension of, or a pun on Bisexual. In its more serious usage, it indicates an interest in Transgender persons in addition to cissexual men and women. In its more humorous usage, it refers to someone who will try any sexual experience. It is used in the song "La Vie Boheme" in the Broadway musical Rent. The term was coined by porn actress Robin Byrd.


Passively Bi, aka open-minded is a non-sex specific term that describes a Heterosexual/Bi-curious person who is open to incidental or direct contact (typically in a group sex scenario) from a member of the same sex or a Homosexual/Bi-curious person who is open to contact with members of the opposite sex under the same scenario, which usually doesn't involve reciprocation. Actively Bi is a non-sex specific term that can describe a Bi-curious person who initiates direct contact with the sex opposite his or her usual identity (either Hetero- or Homosexual); it can also refer to a Bisexual person who engages in contact with members of both sexes on a fairly regular basis. Could this be yours truly?
Some Bisexuals make a distinction between gender and sex. Gender is defined in these situations as a social or psychological category, characterized by the common practices of men and women. For example, the fact that women wear skirts and dresses in Western society while men traditionally do not is a social gender issue. Sex in this case is defined as the biological difference between males and females, prior to any social conditioning. Bisexuals in this sense may be attracted to more than one gender but only to one sex, although Master Jeffrey's preference of either sex more over the other is "50/50". For example, a male Bisexual may be attracted to aspects of men and masculinity, but not to the male body.

Bisexuality is often misunderstood as a form of adultery or polyamory, and a popular misconception is that Bisexuals must always be in relationships with men and women simultaneously. Rather, individuals attracted to both males and females, like people of any other orientation, may live a variety of sexual lifestyles. These include lifelong monogamy, serial monogamy, polyamory, polyfidelity, casual sexual activity with individual partners, casual group sex, and celibacy. For those with more than one sexual partner, these may, or may not, all be of the same gender.
Biphobia
A common stereotype of Bisexuality is that it is 'a phase' on the way to a 'mature' Lesbian, Gay or straight identity. Some recent research has even attempted to prove the non-existence of Bisexuality, particularly male Bisexuality, although these studies have been criticised as methodologically and theoretically flawed. Bisexual women are frequently regarded as 'just being Bi-curious' and trying to titillate Heterosexual men: another way of denying that Bisexuality is 'real'.
Biphobia basically describes a fear or condemnation of Bisexuality, usually based in a belief that only Heterosexuality and Homosexuality are genuine orientations and appropriate lifestyles. "I had apprehensions about coming out that I found men attractive from a purely survivalist point of view. However, I did not anticipate any complications from being Bisexual rather than Gay, and have experienced very few," says Master Jeffrey. Bisexual persons may also be the target of Homophobia from those who consider only heterosexuality appropriate, making Bisexuals just as prone to bashing as Gays, Lesbians and Transgendered.
The reverse can also apply in that Bisexual persons may be targets of Heterophobia or discrimination by some Homosexuals. August adds, "Its been my experience that some women in the Lesbian community really are not that accepting to Bisexuality at all. Why that's the case, I really don't know." Says Master Jeffrey, "Male homosexuality has always been more difficult; I think largely because men have control of the media and have often presented girl/girl action for their own pleasure, while being disgusted/afraid and/or morally objecting to man/man action (i.e.: the obligatory girl-on-girl scene(s) in just about every straight porno film)."

There is also a common stereotype that Bisexuals are greedy and promiscuous. This can lead to a double bind for Bisexuals whereby those who are in non-monogamous relationships are regarded as proving this stereotype (even if these are honest open relationships), whereas those who are single or in monogamous relationships are regarded as 'really' Lesbian, Gay or straight and risk invisibility.
Bi invisibility is also perpetuated in the media when celebrities and fictional characters are portrayed as Lesbian or Gay even though they have sexual/romantic relationships with women and men.
The author Robyn Ochs writes about the 'double discrimination' Bisexual people can face from both Heterosexual and Lesbian/Gay communities. Many surveys have found that Bisexual people suffer from higher rates of mental health problems than Lesbians and Gay men, who in turn have higher rates than the population as a whole. This is often linked to biphobia, bisexual invisibility, low levels of support and acceptance, and the 'double discrimination' experienced by bisexual people.
Truly, it's not always easy to come out of "the other closet", but with the right support, community, and resources, taking that step can be a lot easier! We should collectively agree just as much as we seem to collectively disagree, but the bottom line is this: we are who we are, and we're attracted to who we want to be attracted to...and regardless of whether it's Steve, Stella, Steve-who-used-to-be-Stella or Stella-who-used-to-be-Steve, we're all in this together! Find your world outside of your closet, and have fun!



By Alecs c., LGBT Talk Columnist
I've done a lot of thinking since I started seriously being a part of the kink community. I think if there's anything that can get someone to think about who they are and what they want, kink and being a part of a community would be it.
I've spent so much of my life wanting so badly for people to like me, that I willingly hide parts of myself that I think people won't like away from them. It's such a pathetic thing to do if you think about it. I'm a gay guy to some people, a straight guy to other people, and a man to still other people. But I'm my true self: a genderqueer, Transgender, female leaning person who prefers the pronoun "she" to very few people because the truth is, to this day I'm still struggling to believe that being and identifying as my true self is good enough. And yes, I'm worried about what others think about me.
I've found that the times when I've felt the most freeing and the lightest is when I come clean about something about myself. I came out as gay when I was 16. That was the first time I felt I was being at least semi-honest about who I am. All of a sudden, that backpack of emotional bullshit got a little bit lighter. When I went to a trans youth group for the first time when I was 21, heard people tell parts of my story, and told my story with them for the first time, it was another level of freedom...another shot at being honest with and about myself. Each of those times, I felt super scared, but came out feeling refreshed and burden free.
Sure, it doesn't bother me THAT much that people use "he" to refer to me. I know a lot of people who'd bite someone's head off if that person referred to them in the wrong pronoun. I'm not one of those people. I'm also tired of being a doormat about my true self to everybody.
It weirds me out because it feels like I'm seeing all that emotional bullshit that I've spent so long throwing out and putting it right back in again when I don't stand up for myself when I'm referred to by the wrong pronoun or thought of as "a man". I'm torn because I feel like I've all these cool people in my life that make me feel good and who seem to care about me, but at the same time, there's STILL that part of me that just doesn't trust in their ability to accept me for me. I want to believe that I can be who I am, dress the way I wanna dress, and still have people respect my identity, but in my heart I know that's not happening.
So I guess that's why I sat down and wrote this. I'm afraid of people's reaction to my revelation, but at the same time, I need to get it out in order for me to feel like I'm having honest relationships with people.
So yeah...I'm Alecs, I consider myself genderqueer and trans, I took hormones for a year, but I'm currently not on them, I don't really identfy as a woman, but that's close... and I'd prefer that people refer to me with the pronoun "she". That's it...
I don't know who's gonna read this, but you know what? I posted it and that's it. The rest is none of my business.

WANT PEOPLE TO SEE IT? PUT 'EM RIGHT HERE!
CONTACT US ABOUT OBTAINING ADVERTISING SPACE FOR YOUR
BUSINESS, ORGANIZATION OR EVENT ON KINK-E-ZINE!!